


Love is a sin

by JackPotato



Series: Song Fic Series [1]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, NSFW, Pining Alec Lightwood, Sexy Times, all the sex things, aloof Magnus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:31:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10542126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackPotato/pseuds/JackPotato
Summary: Love is like a sin my love, for the ones that feels it the most.Alec has been meeting Magnus at this abandoned house for the last couple of months. He’s not even sure how this all started and sometimes Alec wishes it never did. It might have been easier to have lusted for the guy from afar than what he has with him now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Song Lyric Fic series  
> I wrote this ages ago but this is my first published fic in this fandom.  
> Completely unbeta'd.  
> Please be kind! 
> 
> Song is - Paradise Circus - Massive Attack (feat. Hope Sandoval)
> 
> Come say hi - Jackpotato on tumblr

**_It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm,  
we can roll ourselves over 'cause we're uncomfortable_ **        

                                   

Alec Lightwood stands by the broken window of the old abandoned house, he sighs as he looks out at the gathering storm clouds.  He’s been breaking into this old house for the last couple of months now. The house long condemned after the elderly lady who had been living in it died 5 years ago. The place is still furnished, the relatives of the lady, never bothering to clear it out. Over the years, the house has had many break in’s and most of anything that had any value has long since been taken or trashed.

Alec places a hand on the weathered window frame, leaning his forehead against the cool glass, he closes his eyes, taking in the coolness of the glass against his skin.

The police have tried to keep kids like Alec or squatters out, putting up high fences and boarding up most of the windows and doors. But somehow people still find a way in.

Alec has been meeting Magnus at this abandoned house for the last couple of months. He’s not even sure how this all started and sometimes Alec wishes it never did. It might have been easier to have lusted for the guy from afar than what he has with him now.

Alec keeps trying to tell himself that at least he has him, even if it is only for these brief meetings under the cover of darkness in this old abandoned house.

Neighbours have been calling for years now, to have this old place knocked down. But no one really knows who owns it. It wasn’t left in any will and no living relatives have stepped forward.

So here it sits, abandoned and forgotten, a bit like the poor old lady who use to live here.

Alec takes comfort it that thought. He knows it’s a horrible thought, knowing someone else was worse off than him.

He has a somewhat loving family and friends after all, while this lady died alone.

It still doesn’t stop the empty ache in his heart.

-

  
**_Oh well the devil makes us sin_**  
  
**But we like it when we're spinning, in his grin.**

****

Alec feels the air in the room shift and he opens his eyes and turns to sees a lithe figure standing by the doorway on the other side of the room. He moves towards Alec, quiet footsteps on old creaky floorboards. The shadows shift, and as he comes into full view, bathed in moonlight, Alec can’t help but hold his breath a little.

Magnus cuts a stunning figure, all lean and lithe muscle with sharp edges from hours of dancing, whereas Alec is all tall and toned bulk muscle from hours of swimming and archery. Two completely different worlds and yet here they were.

 A small smile curls up the edges of Magnus’ mouth as he closes the space between him and Alec.

It’s almost like a cat circling his prey Alec thinks absently.

-

 

**_Love is like a sin my love  
for the ones that feels it the most_ **

 

Alec knows why they need to hide this, it was him that set the ground rules in the first place, having to live up to his parent’s expectations, following in their footsteps, which didn’t include relationships with kids like Magnus.

Alec supposes they are at other ends of the spectrum here. Alec comes from money, he’s smart; duxing most of his senior classes and if he wanted to, he really could get a scholarship into any school he wanted. Not that he would need to, because his parents would pay his full tuition into any college in the world. Although the catch is, it must be into Law. As the eldest Lightwood, Alec is expected that he will follow in his parent’s footsteps into the family law practice, even if that’s not something he wants to do.

Magnus on the other hand does not come from money. Alec, like everyone at school, knows Magnus was adopted. His mother committed suicide when Magnus was only young and his father left not long after

The whisper around school is that his father is involved in some kind of mafia or crime syndicate, but Alec doesn’t like to listen to rumours.

Magnus lives with the Fray family, once family friends and now adoptive family. While Alec can tell he’s happy and loves his family, he also knows Magnus wants to get out of this small backwards town. On the brief occasion that they have spoken, after one of these meet ups, Magnus, with a lit cigarette looking through the dirty windows into the quiet dark street, talked about going to the Brooklyn Arts College, getting a crummy apartment and getting out of this town. But on the rare occasion he’d talked about it, his words soon turn sour, his voice turning hard. He’s need a scholarship to get in to the College, because there is no way his adoptive parents could ever afford the fees, especially not for him and their own daughter Clary, also in the same year as them. Luke is a police officer and Jocelyn owns a very small antiques business. They get by, but of course, as Magnus cuttingly suggests, turning back from the window, Alec wouldn’t understand what’s that like, would he?

And that’s the thing, he wouldn’t.  While Magnus doesn’t have money, he has warm, understanding and loving parents, and Alec doesn’t know how that feels. Because IF, whatever this was, was found out, the likelihood of Alec’s parents disowning him would be pretty high. If it wasn’t the class difference between him and Magnus, then Alec is pretty sure it would definitely be the fact he was having a sexual relationship with a _guy_ that might do it.

Magnus stands in front of him now face slightly shadowed. Magnus’ normally brown eyes have a yellow gleam as he moves out of the shadows and brings his hand up and cups Alec’s cheek. Alec closes his hazel eyes and tilts his head, moving into the feeling of Magnus’ warm hand on him.

**_-_ **

 

 _ **Look at him with his eyes like a flame**_  
  
_**He will love you like a fly will never love you, again**_

**_Oh, ho.._ **

 

Alec feels Magnus shift closer and the soft brush of his lips on his. Teasing.

It always starts like this.

Alec could say to Magnus; his parents be damned. If their love was strong enough they could survive through all the drama, the fighting, the hate at school. Alec’s parents disowning him, Alec would probably be dropped from the swimming team – some lame excuse made up, Magnus’ parent’s might be a little upset at first, but they’d understand. Magnus can still get into an Arts school. Alec could go for anything he wanted then… maybe a creative writing course, or screen writing, try get in through a scholarship with his archery. It’ll be tough…

As long as they were together.

But that’s just it.

Magnus doesn’t love Alec.

Alec’s known for a while now. The way Magnus is aloof during these meetings, keeping distance between them emotionally and feelings separate. For Magnus, Alec knows it’s just sex.

Alec has tried to think the same way.

Magnus seems able to, or so Alec thinks, with so many people before him. Guys and girls, a proud bisexual. He knows who he is and he gets what he wants.

Alec has never been able to work out why it’s so hard for him to not switch off his feelings now. Afraid to be his real self. Always hiding behind the façade his parents have pressed on him.

And why it’s so hard for Magnus to switch his on.

He wonders whether Magnus gets a thrill from this, knowing this secret about the straight-laced school dux, Alexander Lightwood. The captain of the swimming team, champion archer, probable homecoming king, who also loves to take it in the ass. Magnus could do so much damage with this information and yet, he never has. But then Alec doesn’t want to get his hopes up on any sort of inkling that Magnus could care for him.

Alec has known for a while now that Magnus will never love him.

He has also known he could never stop himself for falling for Magnus.

 -

  
  
**_It's unfortunate that when we feel a storm,_**  
**_we can roll ourselves over when we're uncomfortable_**  


 

The kiss deepens and Alec feels Magnus’ tongue across his bottom lip. Alec groans and opens up letting Magnus in, as he has always done.

Suddenly there is a rumble of thunder and Alec opens his eyes suddenly, pulling back slightly. Alec can feel the small smile that plays over Magnus’ lips and a reassuring hand caressing the back of his head, burying itself into his hair, blunt painted nails scraping over his skull.

 _When did I turn into such a girl?_ Alec thinks to himself.

Alec moves back in, mouthing along Magnus’ sharp jaw line, hearing him groan, feeling his hips push further into his, grinding against him.

-

  
**_Oh well the devil makes us sin_**  
  
**_But we like it when we're spinning, in his grin._**  
  
**_Oh, ho,_**

 

Alec is naked now, lying on the old battered couch, as he has so many times before. His pale white skin lit by the fragmented light coming in through the boards on the windows. Alec thinks the contrast between their naked bodies and the surrounds would be jarring if not for the ugliness of their situation. Alec aches for this to be more, hoping his face isn’t betraying his emotions enough that Magnus can tell, as his beautiful naked form kneels in front of Alec. The sharpness of the pop of the lube bottle opening jolts Alec, more than the rumble of thunder, and sensing the slight pause in Magnus’ movements, Alec rolls his eyes, “hurry up”, he almost barks, hoping that’s enough to convince Magnus. Magnus laughs and raises an eyebrow, “as you wish”, he breathes, moving closer.

Alec closes his eyes and doesn’t want to think about what else has been on this couch over the years, but his thoughts are distracted by Magnus’ slim finger breaching that tight ring of muscle and the ghosting of his lips over his cock.

Alec bucks up as he grinds down onto Magnus’ fingers wanting more.

Wanting to _feel_ more, trying to imagine as Magnus looks up at him, while he sucks the tip of his cock, licking off the pre-cum that has gathered at the slit.

Alec wishes that his eyes are filled with more than just lust.

Outside thunder rumbles, lighting cracks and rain pelters down.

Magnus’ lips curl up in a smile, eyes never leaving his as he takes Alec fully into his mouth at the same time as he inserts another finger.

-

  
  
**_Love is like a sin my love_**  
**_for the one that feels it the most_**

 

Magnus rolls his hips forward, burying himself deeper, head thrown back at the feeling of Alec tightly surrounding him.

Neither says a word, all groans and grunts and the occasional expletive or exclamation.

They rarely talk when they meet up.

The pace is faster now, almost brutal and as Magnus arches back, head thrown back, Alec thanks god for small favours that they at least do this face to face now. Alec loves that he can watch Magnus unravel because of him.

Least he has that to hold onto.

Magnus’ hips stutter and Alec cants his hips to meet his thrusts, knowing they’re both so close.

Magnus moves his hand from his vice grip on Alec’s hip to his cock, pulling him in time with their thrusts.

Alec groans at the feeling, knowing he’ll get off again later, just at the sight and memory of the fresh bruises on his hips from Magnus’ touch. One of the only physical reminders… evidence that this actually happened.

-

  
_**Look at him with his smile like a flame**_  
  
_**He will love you like a fly will never love you, again**_

 

Magnus throws his head back and cries out when he comes and Alec isn’t too far behind him. Magnus slumps forward for a moment, head resting on Alec’s shoulder. Alec can feel his hot breath tickling his collar bone, breathing beginning to slow down. Alec wraps his arm around his waist and Magnus grunts into his neck.

Alec turns his head to the side to look out the window, the storm has calmed and now in the darkness he can only hear a light drizzle falling over the old crackled roof tiles above.

Then as always, Magnus is up, pressing himself up off the couch, giving Alec a chaste kiss before he pulls up and out of him.

Alec gasps a little at the feeling. He doesn’t move, just tracks Magnus’ movements with his eyes as he gets up, stretches and then pulls off the condom, tying it off and throwing it away into a dark corner of the living room. Watching as Magnus picks up his boxers and pants and pulls them both back on.

He’s in no hurry, but as usual neither says anything.

Alec shivers a little, the heat from the sex settling and cold now seeps into his skin. But he doesn’t get up.

Finally, Magnus is dressed and turns back to Alec. Alec closes his eyes, not wanting to look into those beautiful brown eyes and see the detachment.

He always hates this moment, his stomach turning in knots. But as usual he plays it cool.

Alec opens his eyes as he feels Magnus moving closer, giving him a steady look, masking the turmoil going on in his head. He wants to say something, he wants to get up and move towards Magnus, but instead he stays still, lying on the filthy couch. Magnus tilts to the side, studying Alec. A curious look on his face, he almost looks concerned…

Alec gives him his best smirk and Magnus raises an eyebrow and smirks back, letting his eyes leer over Alec’s naked form before abruptly giving a short nod and walks out of the room.

He doesn’t hear Magnus leave…

Alec closes his eyes again, letting the small tear fall down his cheek.

‘I love you Magnus,’ he says quietly.

 

 


End file.
